PIGSHIT: Endless Winter

With the Brian Wilson: Songwriter DVD still lodged firmly within the ol’ Pig Player, I pause to conduct a virtual poll in order to ascertain, on behalf of R n’ R Reporters everywhere, that traditional Yule-rock question… “WHY WOULD YOU REALLY RATHER BE LISTENING TO THE BEACH BOYS THIS DECEMBER 25th?”

“Because I live in Syracuse, and it’s gonna fucking snow until July. I’d rather be surfing!”
(Carl Cafarelli, This Is Rock n Roll Radio)

“Because two of my favorite bands, The Dukes of Stratosphear and The Pretty Things, have absorbed Beach Boy influences into their music.”
(Tina Max, Noise Magazine)

“Because KISS didn’t use any sleigh bells on their new release.”
(Pat Meusel, Sony Music Nashville)

“Because I like them a whole lot better than eggnog!”
(International Pop Overthrower David Bash)

“I’d rather listen to the Beach Boys this Christmas because eggnog sucks.”
(Fellow E-nog Hating Columnist John M. Borack)

“Because they alone could sing Mele Kaliki Maka, is “Merry Christmas” is Island talk-a and have it make perfect musical sense.”
(Domenic Priore, Author of “Look! Listen! Vibrate! SMILE!”)

“Because they offer something rarely heard these days: Great songs, strong hooks and outstanding harmonies.”
(Astronaut Love Triangular Scott Finter)

“Cuz they’re beechin !!!!!!!!!!”
(Phil Kaufman, “Road Mangler Deluxe”)

“How come I have to listen to the Beach Boys at Christmas?”
(The Artist Currently Known as DAZA)

“I’d rather listen to Dick Dale.”
(Dick Dale, King of the Surf Guitar)

I’d rather listen to the Beach Boys!”
(Next Big Thing Shane Faubert)

“Because the Kenny Rogers Christmas album makes me want to buy a machine gun, and that’s not as good a feeling as ‘Little Saint Nick’ or ‘Do It Again.'”
(Flaming Poodle David Ribyat)

“I can play along with them on my piano inside the giant sandbox.”
(Fellow Poodle Elizabeth Walsh)

“The reason I would rather listen to the Beach Boys this Christmas is because it beats hearing that crappy muzak they play in the malls. By far, I should add! And they’re tons better than Kenny G too.”
(Beverly Paterson of Twist And Shake Magazine)

“I’m gonna stay home this Christmas to hear the Beach Boys so I can listen to The World’s Greatest Drummer. Dennis!”
(Doreen Davidson, Cheap Trick’s # 1 Fan … with apologies to Bun E.)

“Waves, waves, and …oh yeah: Waves!”
(Mick Hargreaves, Long Island Surfer Boy)

“Because their unreleased 1970s Christmas album set a standard of excellence within the genre, alongside Christmas efforts by the Kingston Trio, Temptations and Phil Spector.”
(Mike McDowell, Blitz Magazine)

“Because their music represents all the hopes and companionship of the festive season, and because Brian and the group’s vocals are some of the best ever recorded.”
(Andrew Gladwin, Actuary and Part-time Beach Boy Website Owner, Harare, Zimbabwe)

“I’ll be listening to the Beach Boys this Christmas because every year the sound of Phil Spector’s voice on A Christmas Gift For You messes me up so badly that I need a dose of close harmony to save the day.”
(John J. Pinto of The Pig Paper)

“The only reason I would rather listen to the Beach Boys this Christmas would be if I lived in Kentucky.”
(The Ever-Cryptic Don Preston, Original Mother of Invention)

“Christmas in California is rarely depicted on Hallmark cards. With the weather often sunny and in the 80s, the only hint of a seasonal change is the shortened daylight hours. For years I have tried to recreate the Rockwellian holidays of my childhood for my own little boy, only to be reminded by stepping outdoors that it was impossible. At seven years old, he’s never even seen snow up close. But one thing has been a constant in our family for many years, and that is the soothing harmonies of Beach Boys’ Christmas songs playing throughout our home. This last year, my Beach Boys Christmas cassette went missing. I didn’t think much of it, until my son began to cry, begging me to buy a new one. “It’s just not Christmas without the Little Saint Nick song!” he wailed. It was then that I began to appreciate the uniqueness of our California Christmas, and was reminded that it is our own traditions and memories we make – the “spirit” of the season – that matters most. Oh yeah, I did get another Beach Boys cassette. And Jeffrey Foskett’s Christmas At The Beach as well. Who needs snow?”
(Sherri Ann Skanes, Educator, Ventura, California)

“Few would argue that along with Elvis’ Christmas Album and Phil Spector’s A Christmas Gift For You, The Beach Boys’ Christmas Album is certainly one of the quintessential holiday albums of the rock era. On that album you not only get five great original – and timeless – Brian Wilson melodies, but a rare glimpse at an era when the “down to Earth” Beach Boys sound dominated the music charts. I can still picture Brian, in his bright shiny ’64 Grand Prix, cruising down Hawthorne Boulevard and pulling into the Foster’s Freeze while he hums an idea for a new song. That song, ‘Little Saint Nick,’ would fascinate us through the 1963 Christmas season, and continues to delight us all these years later. To “update” my legendary introduction from the Beach Boys Concert album: And now, from Hawthorne California, to entertain you tonight on a CD player near you, let’s have some “fun, fun, fun” with the fabulous Beach Boys and the ULTIMATE Christmas album!
(Fred Vail, Former Manager and First Concert Producer of The Beach Boys)

“You can have your Celines and Babs and Mariahs … just gimme my Boys!”
(Ron, aka Porky Pig, Windy City, USA)

“I’d rather be listening to the Beach Boys this Christmas because there is no other feasible alternative to get closer to heaven.”
(Kerneels Breytenbach, General Manager, Human & Rousseau Publishers, Cape Town, South Africa)

“Couldn’t have said it better myself!  Merry Christmas, everybody!
(Santa Pig)

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