Odds & Sods

Friday Fun: 25 more awful songs to add to Blender’s list

Here we go. If you thought that the Blender list of 50 worst songs was bad, check out these additional 25 that are begging to be added to the list as determined by Mark Brown of Scripps Howard News Service:

1. “Brand New Key,” Melanie: Possibly the least-appealing sexual innuendo in any song ever.
2. “Freedom,” Paul McCartney: Proof of his one-time claim that he can write a song in just five minutes.
3. “Jenny From the Block,” J-Lo: The performer’s contribution to the decline of Western civilization.
4. “How You Remind Me,” Nickelback: “Never made it as a wise man.” You don’t say!
5. “I’ve Never Been to Me,” Charlene: Save the cab fare, sister.
6. “In the End,” Linkin Park: Sniveling self-pity as an art form.
7. “Billy Don’t Be a Hero,” Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods: Wrong on so many levels we can’t begin to explain.
8. “The Night Chicago Died,” Paper Lace: Besides this atrocity, these sadists also recorded “Billy Don’t Be a Hero.”
9. “Tie a Yellow Ribbon,” Tony Orlando: How did this vapid song about a needy ex-con get turned into a tribute to our soldiers?
10. “You Decorated My Life,” Kenny Rogers: Presumably with a trip to the 99 Cent Store.
11. “Say You Say Me,” Lionel Richie: Say what? Reminder of why, at one point, ’80s radio stations would play anything Richie recorded.
12. “Seasons in the Sun,” Terry Jacks: We had joy, we had fun . . . but never when this song was playing.
13. “Barely Breathing,” Duncan Sheik: So put all of us out of our misery, already.
14. “Sometimes When We Touch,” Dan Hill: So overwrought it’s bloodless.
15. “Man, I Feel Like a Woman,” Shania Twain: Man, I feel like poking my eardrums out with an ice pick.
16. “Sk8r Boi,” Avril Lavigne: Horrible tune that teaches your daughters the valuable lesson that men are worthwhile only if famous.
17. “Nookie,” Limp Bizkit: So unsexy that Fred Durst must have written this as a work of fiction.
18. “Silly Love Songs,” Wings: Even Paul McCartney won’t play this atrocity anymore.
19. “American Pie,” Madonna: Like painting a mustache on the Mona Lisa.
20. “Come on Eileen,” Dexy’s Midnight Runners: Friends don’t let friends play this lurching roller-coaster of a song.

Hey, I like that Shania Twayne song!