ms_sleeve_casper.inddI just knew I had to get to know better any band that shared my long-time love of The Fugs’ masterpiece “It Crawled Into My Hand, Honest.”

So then, as you grab that equally masterful “Modern Silence” ceedee by Jason NeSmith, Kay Stanton, and Jim Hix – known to discriminating listeners the globe over as, yes, Casper & The Cookies – you can, and really should, get to know them all better yourselves by finding out, once and for all,

1. “Munsters” or “Addams Family”: Which one’s for you, and why?

Jason: Man, I always get them mixed up.

Kay: Tough one. I’ve seen more of “The Munsters” because it was always on Channel 12 when I got home from school. I would always watch it because I wasn’t supposed to watch TV until my homework was done, but no one was around to monitor my bad behavior. But, when it comes down to the two, I feel more in tune with the gloriously glam “Addams Family.”

Jim: I think i’ll have to go with “The Addams Family” on this one. Gomez had the swagger while the Frankenstein dude from the Munsters was a chump. (i don’t know if i’ve ever seen a full episode of either.)

Jason: “The Addams Family” has a great pinball game. And anyway, can you remember the theme from “The Munsters”? Neither can I. But anytime someone walks a bass line walks up from the fifth to the root and snaps their fingers twice in a row…

2. Who in the world, living or dead, would you most like to play a game of Twister with?

Kay: Dr. Suess. Think about that for a minute.

Jason: Myself as a child and myself as an old man. It removes the embarrassment. If you think this sounds perverted, YOU are perverted.

Jim: Probably Scarlett Johnasson, because of, you know, the boobs.

3. How many Sid King (not to ever be confused with Sid from Central Park) & The Five Strings records do you own?

Jim: Fat zero.

Kay: I have to admit I’ve never heard Sid King before I got this question, but I like what I’ve heard, and I think it would sound great on Jason’s Victrola.

Jason: The Central Park Sid said that he was, in fact, yes, you guessed it, THAT Sid. He also claims that despite being mostly illiterate, he can play a guitar just like ringing a bell. He hocked his axe years ago, but he still plays the bell.

4. Now I know you guys love New York City, and vice-versa! But, if you had been working the front gate at the Dakota that night back in 1980 when nasty Mark David Chapman showed up, pistol in hand, to avenge the chief Beatle for his “bigger than Jesus” wisecrack, what would you have done?

Jim: Probably spinning back fist – pa pa pa POW – light’s out. Either that or I’d just put Kay onto him… case solved.

Jason: I would choose the self-preservation route. I’m a doorman, not a bodyguard. Maybe I could have suggested that John imagine there’s no flesh wound.

5. “Ginger” or “Mary-Ann”: Which one’s for you, and for how long?

Jason: Gimme the brainy one for five, ten minutes.

Jim: Mary-Ann …for months, I’m sure. I’m an old fashioned kind of guy.

Kay: Well, now if you could wrap up Ginger’s spunkiness into Mary-Ann’s body, I’d wanna hang with that lady. We’d probably be best friends for years, unless we got into a cat-fight over Jason.

Jason: Kay’s always fantasizing about beating people up for me.

6. What single song, living or dead, do you most wish you’d written? And why didn’t you?

Kay: Bowie’s “Life on Mars.” Why DIDN’T I write it?? Oh, yeah, I’m not that good.

Jim: I think right now, the single song I’m most obsessed with is “I Have Been Floated” by one, MR. Pete Erchick. I didn’t write it because he beat me to it.

Jason: Living or dead songs, lessee… I’m fascinated by Lennon’s post-assassination songs. My favorite has to be “Doorman Dodged the Bullet.” I didn’t write that one because I was too busy beating myself up for being a tasteless jerk.

As far as living songs go, I think I’d have to go with “Jealous Guy.”

7. Whose camera, besides Duchamp’s, would you most like to be reincarnated as?

Jim: David LaChapelle.

Kay: Robert Mapplethorpe’s. It would be amazing to see through that lens for a while. I love that he saw beauty in the subversive and maybe subversion in beauty. I don’t know, but he sure got to meet a lot of people I would love to know.

Jason: I’ll take the Hubble.

8. In 2009 words or less: your hopes, aspirations, and goals – musical and otherwise – for your life and your country?

Kay: My next series of goals include lots of touring (without getting fired from my job), start working on the NEXT album, getter better at the instruments I play, writing some songs, painting, getting out of debt, fixing the lawnmower, and finally get to taking a vacation.

Jason: I want Sean Hannity to stop claiming to be outside of the mainstream. I want to regain the ability to produce the enzyme necessary to digest dairy. I want the officer to drop the charges. I want XTC to go on tour and let us open for them. I want to have a weekend to do nothing but make out with my sweetie. I want the planet to vote NO on war. I want ALL fire-ants to DIE DIE DIE!!, and I want all the spiders in my room to develop an insatiable appetite for the cockroaches in my room. I want rich people to give some of their money back to poor people without whining and moaning or making the government do it for them. I want “The Madcap Laughs” on vinyl with the gatefold. I want to peel my skin from the air that’s around it and leap right out and make a jell-o mold of me. I want to be friends with Charlie again.

Jim: To make shit tons of money. (going with old standby)