What Would They Be Doing Today?

When I have too much time on my hands, I occasionally amuse myself by speculating about what Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Jim Morrison would be doing today if they were still alive. The possibilities are endless but, after giving the matter considerable thought, these are my favorite scenarios. Sure they’re absurd, but that’s what makes it fun. Besides, stranger things have happened. Thirty years ago, who would have believed that Jane Fonda would wind up marrying a billionaire and cheering on his baseball team by doing the “tomahawk chop” during the World Series?

Janis Joplin – After one too many drug and/or alcohol induced near-death experiences, she became a born-again Christian and launched a new career as one of the most popular right-wing radio hosts in the U.S. with a call-in show called, “Piece o’ My Heart.”

Jim Morrison – Quit the music business to become an independent filmmaker churning out pretentious cinematic twaddle characterized by incomprehensible symbolism so dark and disturbing that he makes David Lynch seem like Walt Disney.

Jimi Hendrix – Still boldly exploring the uncharted frontiers of rock and roll despite ballooning to 280 lbs. from thirty years of staying clean and sober by bingeing on chocolate chip cookies and Mountain Dew. His fans are bitterly divided over whether his commemorative postage stamp should feature the “Thin Jimi” or the “Fat Jimi.”

The best part of this activity is that it can be enjoyed anywhere without the need for special equipment or strenuous exercise. If you’re inspired to embellish these scenarios or create your own, please send them in to The Rock and Roll Report. The best contribution to this rock and roll bizarre alternate universe as judged by our esteemed panel of semi-lucid judges will receive a copy of the great CD “Trouser Load of Love” by the Mod-est Lads for their troubles. You could change rock and roll history, or at least come up with an interesting twist to those always imagined “what-ifs” that you have often pondered in the late night hours or after one too many Brandy Alexanders. Go ahead and give it a shot, we could have a lot of fun with this!